What can you NOT talk about at a Toastmasters meeting?
- pbtoastmasters
- Jun 27
- 7 min read
All of us “code-switch.” What we talk about and how we talk about it varies by setting, and you may be wondering what is acceptable to discuss at a club meeting. Toastmasters International has deliberately encouraged broad latitude to allow members to follow their interests and discuss what’s important to them.
Let’s start with content that is explicitly forbidden, outlined in Toastmasters “Conditions of Use” page (https://www.toastmasters.org/footer/conditions-of-use). While this refers to online communications, we extend it to all communications, including during meetings:
“Never upload, post, email, transmit or otherwise make available or initiate any content that… is unlawful, racist, sexist, homophobic, hateful, damaging, false, libelous, defamatory, malicious, vulgar, obscene, or discriminatory, contains religious or ethnic bias, or is otherwise objectionable. For example, never post anything meant to harm someone's personal or professional reputation or jokes based on race, sex, religion or disability.”
Unsurprising, right? What about talking about religion, politics or other controversial subjects in general? The answer might surprise you. The following is from the page, “Invocations, Pledges and Controversial Topics” (bold-face passages in the original) (https://www.toastmasters.org/Membership/Leadership/club-officer-tools/club-management/club-quality/invocations-pledges-and-controversial-topics/):
“Controversial Speech Topics
Members often hear "through the grapevine" that speeches concerning politics, religion and sex are forbidden by Toastmasters International because “such controversial subjects are not appropriate.”
This is not true. Toastmasters International does not prohibit any speech topic, content or language.
Toastmasters International recognizes that club members may learn much about the world around them from listening to others’ speeches on a variety of subjects. This variety can add interest to club meetings and stimulate thoughts and ideas. For these reasons, Toastmasters International does not place restrictions on topics, content or language in any speech.
Toastmasters International also recognizes that a club comprises a diverse group of people and recommends that members be mindful of this diversity, using good taste and sensitivity when selecting speech topics, content and language.
While Toastmasters International has no organizational restrictions along these lines, each individual club does have the right to limit speech subjects, content and/or language, with the consensus of its members.”
Has Pacific Beach Toastmasters voted or otherwise determined via a consensus of its members to enforce limits on our speech regarding any particular subject matter? To date, it has not. While the occasional member may voice his or her own preferences about this, remember that this is their opinion only and not a rule of the club.
OK, now let’s talk common sense.
We currently live in a highly polarized world, in which we’re inundated with opinions, often framed as facts. It’s exhausting. We come to a club meeting after work, when many of us are tired, looking forward to not just a wonderful opportunity to hone our skills, but a fun social experience with people we enjoy.
It would be unwise and unkind to transform meetings into yet another situation in which we have to “armor up” and defend our positions (even in our minds) from those who think differently than us. Hence, the Toastmasters recommendation “that members be mindful of this diversity, using good taste and sensitivity when selecting speech topics, content and language.”
In short, no one wants to hear aggressive proselytization seeking to convert us to the speaker’s religion. No one wants to hear partisan political screeds, especially bad-mouthing the party the speaker is against. So why not avoid the whole mess and always keep things light and breezy?
Here’s why you occasionally may want to venture into controversial topics (I say “occasionally” – we all love light-hearted speeches and Table Topics – please let them predominate). You may want to talk about how your personal spiritual practice helped you during difficult times – this is valid for all of us, even if we don’t share your specific beliefs. Dealing with adversity is a universal human concern and makes for a compelling speech.
In addition, political policies hugely affect people’s lives – it’s in everyone’s interests to understand what’s going on. You may have valuable information and insights about existing policies or impending policy changes from your professional or personal research. You may be able to help us wade through the hype and misinformation to understand what’s really going on, which is usually more complex and nuanced than most people think. You may be able to empower us as to how to make our voices heard where it counts. Sharing from these motivations is a generous gift to us, your audience.
What are your interests? Environmental law, real estate regulations, small business law, water rights, climate change, food safety, religious freedom, health care, protecting journalists, affordable education or any one of a myriad of other subjects? Don’t hesitate to share your knowledge on these important issues with the club. First of all, you may be practicing for a work-related event, which is expressly what this club is for. Secondly, one of the exciting things about coming to a PB Toastmasters meeting is our broad range of interests and expertise. I don’t think I’ve once gone to a meeting where I haven’t learned something!
How to discuss controversial topics.
The following tips will serve you well not only at the club, but at work, with family and in social settings. This is truly a case where Toastmasters skills = life skills.
1. Consider bringing up explicitly how you’re feeling and how the audience may be feeling in the moment. If you’re nervous about broaching the subject, or if you’re worried about offending, it’s OK to say so. If you feel you may elicit strong emotions in your audience, voice that. Then state what your intentions are for the speech and what beneficial result you hope the audience will get from it. Transparency eases the path into receptive communication.
2. Your language should be as neutral as possible. Screen your speech to remove emotional or judgment-laden terminology (you may want another reader to find what you miss – a friend or AI). Ask yourself throughout: What is my opinion and what is verifiable fact? It’s not that you can’t express your opinions; it’s that you want them to come after you’ve created strong factual support for them, and you want your audience to be able to clearly distinguish between the two.
a. This is a good time to ignore the advice that active sentence construction is always better than passive construction. Which sentence sounds more blaming? “________ (person or party) instituted this adverse policy in _____ (year).” Or “In _____ (year), this adverse policy was created.” Blame creates barriers to understanding.
3. Biased wording isn't the only thing that can alienate your audience — tone of voice matters too. Monitor that you don’t sound angry, disgusted, or offended. Though we aim for vocal variety, a level-headed, neutral tone is the goal here.
4. Data is your friend (“data” is a plural noun, but it sounds odd to use it that way nowadays). While it’s easy to bore or overwhelm an audience with data, the right dose of numeric information adds credibility, especially when presented in an attractive visual format. In a perfect world, we would only use studies with large sample sizes, in which covariates are controlled for, and from organizations that are known not to be in one ideological camp or the other. But for some topics, these studies don’t exist; do the best you can.
5. Don’t forget the power of narrative. Policies affect a multitude of people; a multitude is a faceless abstraction. Incorporate the story of one person, one family, or one town. How were they harmed or helped by the policies under discussion? The key is to focus primarily on actual or potential outcomes on people’s lives, not the people or organizations who are making the decisions.
6. While last month’s blog was about methods to persuade, consider that the first step when discussing a controversial topic is to make your audience curious. Changing minds rarely occurs in a single conversation, or after a single speech. Set your goal more modestly to open minds rather than change them.
7. Look for and acknowledge shared fundamental values – this builds trust and receptiveness far better than attempting to conquer opponents with logic. For example, most people value protecting families, even if they differ on how to do that. Start with commonalities to show that disagreement does not equal disrespect.
8. Try to end on a hopeful note. Doom and gloom tend to paralyze people. What steps of progress or even tiny victories can you cite?
9. Your references should be impeccable and shared with the audience. Vet your sources carefully. If using presentation software, like PowerPoint, create a References slide at the end (viewers can take a screen shot if they want to). If presenting without visuals, consider distributing a handout with references (not essential, but ideally you allow your audience to check your sources afterwards).
Clearly, the bar for quality is high with sensitive subjects, and you may be wondering if it’s worth the extra work. Here’s how it benefits you as well as your audience:
1. If the subject relates to your profession, it’s crucial that you – a subject matter expert – have a polished explanation of your beliefs and how your work aligns with them.
2. The research and writing process develops critical thinking skills, which are in demand by employers.
3. A deep dive may wind up partially altering your position on the subject. Intellectual humility and the ability to incorporate new information will serve you throughout your life.
4. We all have to feel our way through sensitive personal and professional situations. The experience of monitoring our words, voice, and body language – the full communication package – will help us navigate other tricky interactions.
Why is it important to talk about these topics? The Founding Fathers weigh in:
Thomas Jefferson: "Every government degenerates when trusted to the rulers of the people alone. The people themselves, therefore, are its only safe depositories. And to render even them safe, their minds must be improved to a certain degree." — Notes on Virginia, 1782
James Madison: "A popular Government, without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a Prologue to a Farce or a Tragedy." – Letter to WT Barry, 1822
Ben Franklin: “Republics and limited monarchies derive their strength and vigor from a popular examination into the action of the magistrates." — Benjamin Franklin, On Freedom of Speech and the Press, Pennsylvania Gazette, November 17, 1737
In other words, the Founders believed that it’s a citizen’s responsibility to be well informed and discuss these topics, because democracy is a participatory form of government. As always, the club offers us a practice arena where we can deepen our confidence and skills in a supportive environment….and it’s OK if we don’t agree on everything. The foundational principles of Toastmasters guide us: Respect, Integrity, Service, and Excellence.
Other places where you can develop these skills (or observe them in action).
If you’re looking for model organizations that facilitate courteous, open-minded conversations about controversial subjects, check these groups out:
· https://BraverAngels.org (the source for many of the points made above)
Book by Mónica Guzmán. I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. 2022.
Elaine P.
For back issues of this newsletter, go to pbtoastmasters.com
Best wishes from your Club Officers,
President: Elaine P.
Vice-President Education: Nakisa N.
Vice-President Membership: Kanad B.
Vice-President Public Relations: Felix G.
Secretary: Jen M.
Treasurer: Mat G.
Sergeant-at-Arms: Ben P.
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